Sweet Little Lucas

 

My sweet nephew Lucas was born three years ago with four congenital heart defects.  Although perfect in every way, his prognosis in the beginning was unknown.  I remember seeing Lucas for the first time.  It was love at first sight.  We were very worried about him.  After many surgeries and many, many prayers, our little Lucas came through triumphantly.  He was so strong!  Our hearts were invested in this little guy from day one.  

 We have been so fortunate for the time we have spent with Lucas.   Gabi and I have spent a lot of time with each other and our kids.  She used to babysit for me and since she has had her own children, we have babysat for her.  Our family LOVES her boys-Nicholas, Lucas, and Sirius.  They always get lots of attention at my house.  I have often asked Gabi if we could just please keep them.  They fit in so well here and I love them so much I wanted to keep them for myself.   

Our trip to the zoo- summer 2011

 Braydon, Nicholas, Lucas, Livvy, Sommer, & Chase

Livvy and Lucas' birthday party last year

This fall I got to do a fun photo shoot with the boys at the ballpark. Here are a few of the pics. Aren't they they cutest?

Nicholas, Sirius, Lucas

I love Lucas' sweet face below. :)

 Lucas:

These moments and photos I will always treasure. 

On February 19th, we lost our sweet Lucas in a drowning accident.  Just three days before his third birthday. 

 It has been such a hard trial.  I have never been so heartbroken as I am through this experience.  There are so many things that I know about God's plan for His children.  I am so grateful for this knowledge.  But to be honest, I don't know that my heart has fully gotten the message.  It is still so hard not to mourn the loss of our sweet Lucas.  We love and miss him so much! Even though I do KNOW we will see him again.  My heart breaks for Gabi & Nick, Nicholas & Sirius.  I hate to see my family members in pain.  My heart breaks for my own children and for myself- missing Lucas so much.  I can still hear his voice, hear him coming in my front door asking for each of the kids.  I want to say to him,

"Come give Lissa a hug!" and have him grab my legs.  

What can I say? We love him so much.  

Little Brother, Sirius & me at Lucas' funeral

My kids at Lucas' funeral

One thing that has been hard to process is how we lost Lucas.  My brain wants to make sense of it. Why did he live through difficult surgeries to be taken in a tragic way? Today an answer came to me.  Or at least a way that makes a little more sense to me.   

 Lucas' heart did not fail him. It was never intended to fail him.   He was born with heart complications which took a lot of work to mend.  But like I said, he did so triumphantly.  Because of his strength, he taught us that broken hearts can heal.

Now, I feel some days as if my broken heart will never heal.  I physically feel the weight of a very heavy heart in my chest.  It is so physically painful. 

But I think Lucas would want me to look at the example he set and be strong.  Let the atonement of our Savior heal my broken heart.  I think he would not want our hearts to fail us either.  

So, sweet Lucas, I will do my best- like you.

We love you so much!

Chase's Baptism

My little guy turned 8 this year and had the privilege of being baptized and following in the Savior's footsteps.  We are very proud of Chase and his desire to learn and grow and make good choices.  

Here is the announcement

with a few of the personal details omitted:

Here is the back:

 I made it look like a school board announcement (late one night) because I wanted something that symbolized Chase's love of learning.  Maybe its silly.  Like I said, It was a late night idea.. :)

I love this photo.  

Chase was baptized by His dad.  

 Eight is Great! 

GR82B8

 I made Chase a rainbow cake and cake banner 

for his baptism to go with a beautiful song our church has on baptism.

Since many of my family members don't go to my church, here are the lyrics of the song:

I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain

And ponder on the beauty of the earth made clean again

I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain

I want to be the best I can

And live with God again

I know when I am baptized My wrongs are washed away

And I can be forgiven and improve myself each day

I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain

I want to be the best I can

And live with God again

Other things of note about my baptism day

by Chase:

Opening Prayer was given by my brother Braydon

My sister Sommer spoke on baptism

My mom, Livvy and I sang 

Baptism

My dad baptized and confirmed me a member of the church

Witnesses were My Grandpa and Uncle Scott.

So Much To Learn

This poor neglected blog of mine... I really have missed you.  Irony seems to have a way with me in that when I have the most to share, I have the least time to do so. I hope to take some time and document what the last few months have taught me.  Ok, maybe the whole last year!  

I marvel at how the Lord answers prayers.  Not too long ago, I read a blessing given to my mother where again and again she was promised knowledge and wisdom.  Because I admire her wisdom and strength, I quietly prayed that I too could be blessed with these traits.  

You know how they say, 

"Don't pray for patience"

 because you will receive experience needed to gain it?  

I have found this true for knowledge as well!

  I have been blessed with the opportunity to learn a lot of things this year.  It hasn't always been easy.  In fact, some things have been down right hard!  But I did pray for it, right?  And the Lord does answer our prayers.  And, it has been after all, a good thing to pray for...

One thing that fascinates me is how much there is for me to learn and grow.  I sometimes feel I have only begun to scratch the surface in this earthly place.  But I am so thankful that when we do set out on a journey to learn vital lessons, our Heavenly Father gives us so many tools to help us.  I have really learned this last year that 

LIFE,

 yes, even here on earth, 

is so DIVINE. 

Not just in the physical sense.  

And when we believe in inspiration, we will see it often- in big and little ways.  

Because it is always there.  It makes the living so meaningful.  

This is my "note to self" 

in hopes that I always remember this...

Shoes

I was putting laundry away last night as the kids were going to bed.  I was tying up loose ends, rushing around to get things done before morning, when I stumbled upon this little scene.  

I guess Livvy was getting her babies' things in order too.

I love finding treasures like these. 

So cute...

My heart was pleading for these kids to stop growing up!

Thank you, Livvy, for making life such a joy.   

Have I ever said how much I love this sweetheart of mine and 

all of her darling ideas, expressions and imagination?

She's a keeper.  :)

Who is Daddy?

Daddy, according to Livvy

Livvy, Who is Daddy?

Daddy is the nicest person.

What does Daddy like to do?

He likes to play with me and read his books.

What is Daddy good at?

He is good at fixing cars.

What makes Daddy happy?

When I am happy.

What does Daddy need?

To spend time with Mommy.

What does Daddy love?

He loves me and Chase, Braydon and Sommer.

Where does Daddy go everyday?

He goes to work and one day he went to get me a toad.

What does Daddy do for work?

He does fire calls and he fixes out fires.

What makes Daddy fun?

Four Wheeler!!!

What does Daddy look like? 

He looks handsome.  He looks like a nice old man.

What does Daddy do for fun?

boating and jet skiing

What makes Daddy upset or angry?

When we are not very good.

Where would Daddy like to go sometime?

Disneyland

What does Daddy like to eat?

okra

What does Daddy cook best?

bacon

What makes Daddy different than other dads you know?

He's funny.  

Why are you glad he's your dad?

Because he's my favorite Daddy and he always gives me a piece of chocolate.

What does Daddy teach you?

He teaches me English and dances with me.  

What makes Daddy special?

He is always fun, fun, funny.

If you could get Daddy any gift what would you get him?

A pet parrot

What makes Daddy a great dad?

That he says 'I love you.'