My sweet nephew Lucas was born three years ago with four congenital heart defects. Although perfect in every way, his prognosis in the beginning was unknown. I remember seeing Lucas for the first time. It was love at first sight. We were very worried about him. After many surgeries and many, many prayers, our little Lucas came through triumphantly. He was so strong! Our hearts were invested in this little guy from day one.
We have been so fortunate for the time we have spent with Lucas. Gabi and I have spent a lot of time with each other and our kids. She used to babysit for me and since she has had her own children, we have babysat for her. Our family LOVES her boys-Nicholas, Lucas, and Sirius. They always get lots of attention at my house. I have often asked Gabi if we could just please keep them. They fit in so well here and I love them so much I wanted to keep them for myself.
Our trip to the zoo- summer 2011
Braydon, Nicholas, Lucas, Livvy, Sommer, & Chase
Livvy and Lucas' birthday party last year
This fall I got to do a fun photo shoot with the boys at the ballpark. Here are a few of the pics. Aren't they they cutest?
Nicholas, Sirius, Lucas
I love Lucas' sweet face below. :)
These moments and photos I will always treasure.
On February 19th, we lost our sweet Lucas in a drowning accident. Just three days before his third birthday.
It has been such a hard trial. I have never been so heartbroken as I am through this experience. There are so many things that I know about God's plan for His children. I am so grateful for this knowledge. But to be honest, I don't know that my heart has fully gotten the message. It is still so hard not to mourn the loss of our sweet Lucas. We love and miss him so much! Even though I do KNOW we will see him again. My heart breaks for Gabi & Nick, Nicholas & Sirius. I hate to see my family members in pain. My heart breaks for my own children and for myself- missing Lucas so much. I can still hear his voice, hear him coming in my front door asking for each of the kids. I want to say to him,
"Come give Lissa a hug!" and have him grab my legs.
What can I say? We love him so much.
Little Brother, Sirius & me at Lucas' funeral
One thing that has been hard to process is how we lost Lucas. My brain wants to make sense of it. Why did he live through difficult surgeries to be taken in a tragic way? Today an answer came to me. Or at least a way that makes a little more sense to me.
Lucas' heart did not fail him. It was never intended to fail him. He was born with heart complications which took a lot of work to mend. But like I said, he did so triumphantly. Because of his strength, he taught us that broken hearts can heal.
Now, I feel some days as if my broken heart will never heal. I physically feel the weight of a very heavy heart in my chest. It is so physically painful.
But I think Lucas would want me to look at the example he set and be strong. Let the atonement of our Savior heal my broken heart. I think he would not want our hearts to fail us either.
So, sweet Lucas, I will do my best- like you.
We love you so much!